Most cannabis users, for one reason or another, will be drug tested at some point in their weed-smoking lives. Whether it’s required for a job application, part of routine drug tests by employers, or even random roadside testing, just about everyone must give the dreaded sample at least once. Is there a way out of it? There might be with some of the suggestions we give you in this article.
Welcome to the new age, cannabis users. If you think about it, it really took authorities a long time to come out with drug tests – especially when we’re talking about those that take place in workplaces or on the side of the road.
Some of us think it’s a breach of our civil liberties, but that doesn’t change the fact that sooner or later, most of us will confront a drug test.
The most unfortunate thing for weed smokers is that of all the illicit substances, THC has a tendency to stick around the longest. Oh, the unfairness of it all!
There’s no point stepping away from unfair truths. If you’re a pot smoker, you definitely face a bigger chance of failing a drug test than someone who doesn’t mind a line of cocaine, for example.
So, what to do in the face of the dreaded drug test?
When you find out that you’re about to be drug tested, it’s time to read this article. Where there is a will, there is a way. That way is not guaranteed by any means, but it’s definitely worth a try if your job is on the line… or your parole, or whatever you are being drug tested for.
Passing a drug test is never guaranteed
Unfortunately, there’s no way to guarantee a negative result on a drug test unless you are well outside of the detection timeframe. For cocaine users the period of detection could be only 24 hours. Depending on what kind of a cannabis user you are, it could be weeks.
So, the disclaimer sits right here: None of the methods we are going to introduce in this article hare 100% guaranteed. But if you’re really desperate, then it definitely might be worth trying.
What kind of drug test are you taking?
This is an important question for cannabis users. Most often, employers will take a urine sample for drug testing. They are also usually kind enough to give you some notice – say two weeks – before they actually take the sample. However, depending on what kind of drug situation you’re trying to escape, it could be another form of testing.
For example, roadside drug testing usually implements a saliva swab test. If you’re trying to get off parole, they may be testing perspiration.
The way you are being tested matters. For example, a saliva test will only show a positive result on cannabis you’ve used in the last 12-24 hours. But if you’re being urine tested, it can detect cannabis you’ve used in the last 30 days (depending on if you’re a chronic user or not).
For the purpose of this article, we’re going to talk about ways to pass a urine test, seeing as this is the most common test one needs to avoid.
Ways to pass a drug test
Hopefully, the day you find out you’re going to be drug tested, it’s for a date sometime in the future. Employers usually give sufficient notice for you to do some serious detox to get on top of that “THC positive” effect. There are some things you can do to speed up the detoxification process, and there are some things you should probably avoid. Here’s the 101.
Things NOT to do
Some methods of passing a drug test are not recommended. They might not work and are risky. You might even get into more trouble for very obviously tampering with the sample.
- Use bleach or washing detergent: some sources say that if you add bleach or washing detergent to your urine sample, the result is negative. Firstly, that isn’t entirely true. Secondly, don’t you think that laboratories have mitigated these methods of attempted tampering?
If washing detergent doesn’t change the colour of your urine entirely, it might add bubbles. It’s a dead giveaway. Bleach also doesn’t necessarily bring about a negative result.
If you attempt either of these protocols, you might actually risk getting into more trouble for trying to tamper with the sample in the first place.
- Synthetic pee: You can buy fake pee online and try and use that for a urine sample. But drug lab scientists are a little bit more clever than that, unfortunately. They can easily detect synthetic urine.
- Dilution: Diluting your urine is also highly detectable in a sample. Don’t add water or apple juice or whatever you were thinking would be a great adulterant. They will probably know about it.
Things worth trying
Now that we’ve covered the things you definitely should not do, here’s some advice on things you can do.
- Detox the natural way: The most obviously successful way to pass a drug test is to give yourself ample time between cessation of smoking and the drug test itself. How long weed stays in your system will depend on how chronic of a smoker you are and have been.
If you’ve found out that you have to take a drug test in two weeks, stop smoking now. It’s probably not the answer you want, but it’s the most effective way towards a negative drug test result.
- Detox drinks: If you decided you wanted to smoke right up until 24 hours before your drug test, then you can try detox drinks. You can buy them at most pharmacies and online. These products work alongside drinking loads of water (but not too much!), and help disguise urine that is heavily diluted by drinking plenty of fluids.
Be careful with these products. It’s probably not recommended that you use these a lot. They aren’t good for you and you might even have diarrhoea for days afterwards. They are pretty powerful drinks.
- Urine substitution: If you can actually get away with this, substituting the sample for a friend who is clean from drugs is a great way to pass a drug test. The thing is, if you actually get away with it, it’s a guaranteed pass. Again, it definitely comes with risks. But the surest method if your slight of hand skills are effective.
- Tell the truth and hope for the best: I once had a friend who was applying for a job and knew he was going to fail the drug test because of his undying love for THC. He decided the only way to handle the situation was to tell his employers the truth.
After all, they wanted to employ him for his creative skills, some of which he attributed to being a pothead. And if they wanted him to change that, he might not be so skilled anymore. Needless to say, he got the job. But that doesn’t mean we’re all going to be so lucky.
Most of us, will, at some point, be faced with this dilemma. Unless you’ve decided that working for yourself is the way out of it. But heck, it’s pretty scary to be going for the job of your dreams and being afraid to fail at the hands of a drug test. Good luck, cannabis lovers. May the negative results be with you!